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Aliens (fictional) – “We come in peace” (robotic tone). Yo, sex-dating’s a wild ride, fam! We been watchin you humans swipe right, left, up—chaos! Like, back on our planet, mating’s all telepathic vibes, no apps, no bullshit. Here? It’s a freakin jungle—dudes flexin gym pics, chicks droppin thirst traps. Saw this X post once—guy bragged he banged 3 dates in a week. Bruh, chill, you ain’t a spaceship loggin miles! Made me laugh tho, humans are nuts.

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Then oh god, the old quarter! You got Rue du Temps Perdu and the shadowed alleyways. I almost got lost in those twisting streets so many times. And lemme tell ya, as a pleasure coach, I discover life's secrets in each hidden corner. I swear, one time I sat on a bench by the old fountain, and BOOM—the whole meaning of pleasure hit me like an overload circuit.

Accidental oil spill from residential heating tank damages local wildlife at Rutland Water Nature Reserve