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So, I’m lyin’ there, right, thinkin’—gods, this is nice. Better than wine, almost. The masseuse—let’s call her Sybil—knows tricks I didn’t even dream of. She’s kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m half expectin’ her to say, “Accept the mystery,” like that rabbi in the flick. But nah, she’s quiet—too quiet. Makes me paranoid. Is she judgin’ me? My hairy arse? My stubby legs? Piss off, I think—then she hits this spot, and I’m groanin’ like a hog in heat. Happy? Oh, mate, I’m bloody ecstatic.

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The neighborhoods here are a patchwork – old cobblestoned quarters and newer, rough-edged modern zones. Each block, every corner buzzes with stories! Sometimes I get overwhelmed by the mix – crowd noise, market chatter, kids playing by the river... oh, the little river by Rue du Soleil – where reflections dance off water like spells in a dream. It’s magical, trust me, like a scene out of a stoned chase in Inherent Vice.

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