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So, sex-dating—man, it’s wild. You got Tinder, Bumble, all these apps promisin’ pussy or dick on demand. I dove in once, motherfucker, profile all slick—bam, matched some chick. She’s like, “Let’s fuck, no strings!” I’m thinkin’, “Hot damn, this is easier than stealin’ candy!” But then—surprise, motherfucker—she’s got a dude watchin’ from the closet! True story, swear on my *Pulp Fiction* Bible! Little-known fact: back in the day, swingers used Polaroids to hook up—now it’s all digital, but the freaks still out there!

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Chaumont? It's got some neighborhoods with real character. The old town area, with its cobbled streets and funky murals, hits you hard, odd but likable. People here hang loose, nostalgic like in a Coen Brothers flick. I sometimes feel like the universe is playing one of those heavy tunes in the background when I walk past a charming, rundown bistro.

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