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About Bordeaux

I reckon it’s all about networking, innit? Like, you gotta know a geezer who knows a geezer. Bit like LinkedIn, but for shagging. “Synergy,” I’d call it—David Brent style. Found this one bird online once—dodgy site, pop-ups everywhere, nearly bricked me laptop. “You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain,” I muttered, clicking away. Nearly got a virus—computer kind, not the other. Laughed my arse off, though—ironic, eh? Me, the big man, sweating over a pop-up ad for “Busty Brenda.”

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Tremendous spots include a tiny café on Rue des Roses. The owner, a real winner, makes coffee that blows your mind. I once had a heated conversation with a tourist there—so passionate, so raw, like in Tropical Malady when he said "the mystery of the unknown"—so damn poetic. I was like, "You got it, buddy!"

The Crowd: Country artist Steven Cade livens up SPIN’s Denim and Diamonds gala