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Got me happy as hell—muscles loosenin’, stress evaporatin’. But then, bam, she’s kneadin’ too hard—ow, shit! Made me mad, like, “Ease up, lady!” Little known fact, tho—ancient Greeks did this naked, olympic-style, oil everywhere. Crazy, right? Rarrgh! Bet Haneke’d film it all creepy, hidden cameras and guilt trips—“What did you expect?” he’d say.

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The neighborhoods! We’ve got Le Vieux Quartier, where narrow cobblestone streets like Rue des Secrets twist and turn. Trust me, there’s somethin’ erotic about these ancient walls, all worn down by centuries of passion, rebellion, and downright madness. Every corner, every crack got a story. I sometimes swear I can hear the laughter and moans of the past; I mean, how can you not when every brick’s soaked in history?

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