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Found one near Vespucci Beach—tattooed, smokin’ hot, but glitchy. Kept callin’ me “Leonard”—wtf? Like “Memento,” she’s stuck in a loop. “I’ve seen you before,” she says. I’m like, “Bitch, I’m Vader!” Laughed my ass off—then she clipped into a wall. Typical GTA jank. Still, got me thinkin’—is she real? Am I real? “Remember Sammy Jankis,” my brain screams. Nolan’s fuckin’ with me even here.

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Oh, and don’t miss Petite Rue des Fleurs. It's narrow, winding, feelin’ almost clandestine – like every date there is a secret rendezvous, and trust me, I've seen it all. And man, local quirks – people call it “PChabeuil” in the secret circles, an inside joke that makes ya feel like part of a hidden club.

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