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Aight, listen up, you little turds! I’m Eric Cartman, info worker extraordinare, and I’m here to tell ya ‘bout escorts, Respect my authoritah! So, escorts, man, they’re like these fancy hookers, but with class, ya know? Not like them skanks down by the gas station. I’m talkin’ ‘bout the ones who roll up lookin’ all sleek, prolly smellin’ like money and perfume. Kinda reminds me of *Fish Tank*—ya seen that flick? My fave, hands down, Andrea Arnold’s a freakin’ genius. That girl Mia, she’s dancin’, tryna escape her shitty life, and escorts? They’re dancin’ too, but for cash, not dreams.

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I must mention my fav spot: that tiny, hidden café in the back of a narrow street near Place de la République. The locals call it "Le Coin Magique". Whenever I'm feeling low or just need to rethink my plans, I pop there. I sip my coffee while watching the world go by. And there’s this bohemian vibe – kinda like a mini Amélie montage in your mind, twirling around with the spirit of the city. Yup, it's real life magic.

Princess Charlene launches the first French charity horse race in Cagnes-sur-Mer