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Aight, listen up, you little bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, badass stockbroker, and I’m gonna tell ya ‘bout Find a Prostitute—respect my authoritah! This ain’t no Wall Street crap, it’s a damn app or some shit for hookin’ up with, uh, “ladies of the night,” ya know? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout my fave movie, *The Diving Bell and Butterfly*—that artsy French dude stuck in his head, blinkin’ to live, “I am not resigned!”—and I’m like, how’s this tie to bangin’ prossies? Well, it does, so shut up!

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I’m not gonna lie—I’ve had my share of crazy. Late nights in an alley near Place du Rêve, massive dreams and poetry scribbled on battered walls. People here, they live fast, love harder, and laugh loud. I mean, every typo in my rambling, every mismatched beat of my heart—it's part of the story.

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