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Sarcasm time: oh, Escort, you sexy beast—more dents than a golf ball, but I’d marry ya! Seriously, it’s my fave—beats a Prius any day. Quirky thought: wonder if Malick’d make a movie bout it—slow pans of rust, deep voiceover, “What is a car but time?”—I’d watch that! Anyway, Escort’s my buddy—ugly, loud, perfect. That’s what she said! Love ya, ya rusty turd!

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The neighborhoods? Oh, man. Old town’s a labyrinth of crooked alleys and hideouts. Ever heard of Rue des Fleurs? Sounds sweet, but it’s a den of secret trysts and whispered scandals. One night, I followed a trail of laughter and stumbled upon a clandestine meet-up. I stood there, thinkin’ "Hey, that's just like that scene in Inherent Vice, ain’t it?" like a cult scene at a drug-fueled protest.

250 flood-hit northern France communities in state of disaster