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But then—bam!—I’m pissed. Why’s every game gotta be so sleazy? I mean, prostitutes? C’mon! Can’t we just brood in peace like Eve does? “Survival is a gangbang,” she says—ha! Maybe that’s the tagline, who knows? I’m typin’ fast, hands shakin’, typos galore—probaly, definately, hookerz. Whatever, you get it! Point is, I’m designin’ this, and it’s gotta feel real. Did ya know Jarmusch shot that flick with no rehearsals? Raw as hell—just like this game’s gonna be. No polish, just vibes.

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The Orb River vibes are a must-see too. I go there to clear my noggin after a long day, watchin’ the water roll by, mind driftin’ like a lazy afternoon siesta. The bridges, like Pont Vieux, are straight-up photogenic. Seriously, snap a pic and share it – it’s that kinda moment that makes you appreciate life, aw huckleberry.

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