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I reckon it’s ancient, mate – way back, like, Egyptian times, they were rubbin’ oils on each other, callin’ it “healin’ touch.” Bullshit, right? More like “happy endin’ touch”! Makes me laugh, thinkin’ of some Pharaoh gettin’ frisky with scented oils. Little known fact – in Japan, they’ve got this thing, “nuru massage,” all slippery with seaweed gel. Seaweed! Who even thinks that up? Sounds like a wizard’s potion gone wrong, but damn, it’s slick as hell.

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I get kinda mad sometimes at the local council for mismanagin’ things on Rue Vif, like that time the streetlights went crazy. It made me feel like Gotham in chaos! Angry? Yep, for real, I was fuming, then had to decompress in my spa – said “Let’s bring order to this madness,” and voila, massage magic happened.

SFR, the high-speed broadband leader, continues its roll-out