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Wawaweewa! Me, Borat, insurance investigator now! Very nice! I check dis erotic-massage ting, yeah? So, I hear bout dis in Kazakhstan, but here? Wow, big surprise! Erotic-massage, it’s like, hands everywhere, oil, slippery stuff—makes me tingle jes thinkin! Like in “Amélie,” you know, my favorite movie, dat girl, she sneaky, touchin lives, makin magic. Dis massage? Same vibe, but wit sexy twist!

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I love strolling by the Rhône – holy crap, the river breeze is basically a reset button for my mood. Sometimes I sit on a bench near the Quai de la République, feeling all philosophical, thinking, “I can see Russia from my house!” (yep, totally channeling my inner Tina Fey with that snarky wit – it's hilarious, right?) Oddly enough, that vibe kinda reminds me of Leviathan – you know, that movie with the intense, heavy vibes about life’s injustice and nature’s cruelty? Yeah, deep stuff that makes you squirm on your couch sometimes.

French village of Mazan torn apart by horror of mass rape trial