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Then there’s the good stuff – ooooh, sneaky sex-dating facts! Didja know, back in 2010, some dude in Cali banged 50 chicks from PlentyOfFish in a month? Bragged online, got banned – ha! Legend, tho. Makes me giggle, precious, all them horny hobbitses tappin’ away. Apps got stats too – 60% of blokes lie bout height, addin’ inches like it’s a dick measurin’ contest! Surprised me, yesss, but not really – humanses, so predictable.

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Man, and the neighborhoods – le Vieux Auxerre is pure vintage love. Narrow lanes, colorful houses – every corner sneaks you a surprise. I even once overheard a convo in a cafe on Rue Léo Lagrange that cracked me up. People there, full of life, like they’ve been sliced from a Wes Anderson script. “I must break you!” becomes like a battle cry for personal growth in those moments.

Auxerre in advanced talks to sign PSV’s Frederik Oppegard