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What pisses me off tho—dudes who think it’s just a cheap thrill. Nah, brother, it’s deeper! Like in the flick, “What’s buried stays buried”—that’s the stress, man, gone with them magic fingers. Happiest damn moment? When she hit that spot on my back—BOOM—felt like I could bodyslam Andre the Giant again! Surprised me how good it felt, like, whoa, didn’t expect that, brother!

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I used to meet potential matches in cafés around Place Jean Jaurès. Yep, that's a spot. Makes no sense, though – all those smiles hide empty dating app prattle. I once got mad at a date there. I mean, why waste time pretending? And I noticed some hidden gems – a sketchy narrow lane behind the Mairie, where locals say all the secrets of Aubagne spring to life. Who cares? I do. Damn, it pisses me off sometimes how much soul the town hides.

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