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Here’s the tea—don’t be a dumbass. Check reviews, avoid alleys, use cash—duh. Me? I’d prob’ly overthink it, like, “Is she cool? Does she judge?” Total Larry move, stressin’ over nothin’. Once heard this story—guy hires a gal, she’s a ventriloquist, does the whole “date” with a puppet. Freaky, right? Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d buy it—life’s WEIRD. “The uncertainty principle,” as the movie says—ya never know what’s comin’.

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So grab yourself a cuppa, kick back, and lose yourself in the dusty roads of Altkirch. It’s real, it’s raw, and baby, it’s got soul – “just like life – fierce and unpredictable.” And remember, sugar, every corner of our lil’ town got a story, if ya listen close enough.

Jorge Satorre: Black jacket, gray sweatshirt