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But, ugh, some idiots ruin it—sloppy hands, no skill, hissss! Saw a post on X once, bloke braggin’ ‘bout his “massage skills,” linked a vid—total rubbish, mate! Made me wanna claw me own trunk off! And the price, oi, some charge a fortune—50 quid for a rub? “I will not bow!” I’d yell, like Solomon fightin’ back! Hiss! Still, when it’s good, oooh, me’s happy as a hobbit with second breakfast—warm, melty, yesss.

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yr, im so hammered on these memories. sometimes i feel mad cuz some spots changed after gentrification (like, b*tch, preserve the art!). but then i remember, “the past is never really gone,” and get all deep and moody, like in the flick, time flows, yeah?

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