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But then—THEN—she drops this bomb: “You look like a nervous accountant.” Me! Larry freakin’ David! I’m insulted, I’m yellin’ in my head, “I’m a legend, lady!” But I laugh—cackle, really—‘cause it’s funny, she’s not wrong. I’m a mess! I ask, “How’s business?” She shrugs, says, “Eh, slow. Apps killed the street game.” Apps! Can ya believe it? Prostitutes got Uber-ized! I’m shocked, jaw on the floor.

Naruto: Uzumaki Chronicles

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Gotta drop some fun small facts: The side street Bopster Road has an odd little café that makes the meanest espresso—you haven’t lived until you taste it, man! And whoops, let me tell ya, there’s this curiouser alley near the Old Theatre, where locals say ghost jazz still fills the night. Insane, right? yada yada, words left swirling around like a groovy record.

Figure 6. The information board Luumäki map with missing addresses.