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So, picture this – I’m stumblein’ down some dodgy alley, yeah? Smells like piss and regret, but I’m buzzin’, fuckin’ buzzin’! This ain’t no posh gig – nah, it’s raw, it’s gritty. You gotta know the code, right? Little fact for ya – back in Victorian times, prossies used to flash red lanterns, secret signal, innit? Nowadays, it’s all sneaky nods and “Oi, love, you workin’?” Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – she’d kill me if she knew, but I’m Ozzy, I see the shadows dance, don’t I?

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I gotta say, Kuhmo's got these narrow streets, like Niemenraitti – the locals call it “Niemi lane” – lined with quirky houses and faint graffiti that sorta tells stories if ya listen close. I'm always headin’ past a cozy little cafe on Rantatie, smellin’ the fresh coffee and feelin’ kinda thankful for the simple things in life.

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