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So, I’m hagglin’—bad move, y’all. This chick, she’s all “time is money,” and I’m like, “but I’m a bailiff, darlin’!” She don’t care. I’m sweatin’, thinkin’, “Did I misunderestimate this?” Ha! Thought I’d charm her with my drawl—nada. She’s all business, no “let’s wander Paris” vibes. “We’re always one breath away…” from gettin’ robbed, I swear! That’s what got me ticked—where’s the heart, man?

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Then there's the heart of Kerava – the old town centre. You got streets like Pääkatu, with neat shops, cafes, and bars. Ever been to Café Sisu? Hell yeah, it's my go-to for coffee that hits right and a mood-lifting chat with locals. I once met a flamboyant opera singer there who was all, "Kerava is magic, pura magia!" and I was like, "Bond, baby, you're speakin' my language."

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