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But—ugh—then there’s the pricks who run ‘em. Pimp bastards, all greasy and grabby. One tried chargin’ me double ‘cause I’m “Tyrion fuckin’ Lannister.” Told him, “I drink, I don’t get fleeced!” Nearly took me dagger to his balls—shoulda, the twat. Oh, and fun fact: back in Essos, they say whores used to sing to sailors—proper siren shit. Dunno if it’s true, but Lysa hummin’ while she worked? Closest I’ll get to a mermaid, ha!

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The river Kempelejoki snakes through town. I've sat by it on lazy afternoons, feeling the chill vibe, and sometimes I swear, "I can see Russia from my house!" (Okay, it’s not literally true, but you get the mood, right?) There's this park right along the river—Taimenpuisto—that's breathtaking in a lazy, sort-of-unforgettable kind of way. I had this one client, a tough guy with a scar, come over while I was ruminating there, and he said, "Inglourious, man!" It just stuck with me. Like, WTF, but kinda awesome.

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