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I reckon it’s mad, tho—googlin’ “find a prostitute” or scrollin’ X for shady links. Risky as a blaster fight! One time, heard this tale—bloke in Vegas, thought he’d scored a deal, ended up robbed blind by some lass with a fake wig. Laughed my bolts off! But srsly, ya gotta watch it—scams everywhere, dodgy apps, fake ads. Makes me wanna scream, “R2, save me from this filth!”

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The river Kempelejoki snakes through town. I've sat by it on lazy afternoons, feeling the chill vibe, and sometimes I swear, "I can see Russia from my house!" (Okay, it’s not literally true, but you get the mood, right?) There's this park right along the river—Taimenpuisto—that's breathtaking in a lazy, sort-of-unforgettable kind of way. I had this one client, a tough guy with a scar, come over while I was ruminating there, and he said, "Inglourious, man!" It just stuck with me. Like, WTF, but kinda awesome.

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