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Oh, and—little secret—some oligarchs hire ‘em for insane parties, like 50 girls at once, caviar and all. Heard it from a drunk client—dude swore he saw Putin there, wink-wink. Bullshit, probly, but funny as hell! “My precious!” I screech, lovin’ the madness of it all. Beats sittin’ in an office, countin’ death rates, y’know? Hiss! What’s your take, mate—crazy enough for ya?

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I get all jittery just thinkin’ bout the first time I hit a massage parlor on Vaakuna Street. That place was cray noisy, like disarmed bombs poppin' off their clocks, all “tick tick, boom” kinda beats. Crazy times, man. But now, I see that every massage office and every nook is like a battlefield – in a good way.

Oulu – the pearl of the Gulf of Bothnia