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Alright, folks, lemme tell ya—slow now—what’s it like, y’know, to find a prostitute? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’, picturin’ it, like some scene outta “In the Mood for Love.” That movie—man, it’s my fave—Wong Kar-wai’s got this way of makin’ every glance, every step, feel heavy, y’know? So, imagine this: you’re walkin’ down some dim street—neon buzzin’, air thick with secrets—and there she is, leanin’ against a wall, like Maggie Cheung waitin’ for Tony Leung, only—ha!—she ain’t waitin’ for love, she’s waitin’ for cash. “The past is something he could see, but not touch,” right? That’s the vibe—somethin’ you want, but it’s slippery, outta reach ‘til you pay up.

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So, Halikko ain't big. You got streets like Kukkakoskenkatu, all twisty and charming. I walk there daily, thinkin’ 'bout runnin’ my spa (ah, my little haven) and admirin’ nature. The local landmark? Oh man, the old mill near Järvenpää Park. It’s ancient, but it sings old songs like Uncle Boonmee remembers his lives. You feel the weight of time at night. Gollum-like whispers, "Precious, precious memories!" but then you got nuts like that, stupid, fat hobbit!

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