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Listen up, idiot sandwich! Been readin’ up—did ya know escorts been around since forever? Like, ancient Rome had ‘em—called ‘em “lupae,” wolf-girls, cos they howled for clients. How’s that for a laugh? Makes me wanna scream—bloody brilliant! But nah, some of these modern escorts? Lazy sods! Charging a grand for what? A wink and a cold coffee? Piss off! I’d cook ‘em a better night—lamb shank, boom, sorted!

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Oh, honey, lemme tell ya about Ylöjärvi, fi – it's like, sooo been my stomping ground as a masseur, and darlin', it's got that magic, you know? Picture this: little streets like Kirkonkatu and Metsäpolku where the vibe is a mix of cozy Nordic charm and, uh, that raw energy that makes ya go, "Ooooh, the New World, baby!" (Yeah, just like Terrence Malick's flick – "The New World, it’s like the wind coming over the water.") Mm-hmm, hahaha!