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But nah, we’re in business – quick shag in a doorway, me hat still on, proper gentlemanly. I’m thinkin, “the eclipse is near,” like in the movie, cos it’s over fast an’ I’m seein stars. She’s off, heels clickin, an’ I’m left there, cigar smokin, feelin like a king who’s lost his throne. Angry? Nah, just knackerd an’ a bit sad – wishin she’d stayed fer a chat.

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My fave park? Peltopuisto. Man, that place pumps out vibrance with nature's hustle - trees like overgrown warriors, winding trails that twist and turn like that catchy David Brent song I can’t forget. People wander, deep in thought, or pausing to snap that perfect selfie with the old oak – preconceptions and clichés aside, it's magic. I often find myself ranting aloud “Just because it’s all there, doesn't mean you can compute the essence, ya know?” Absolutely Brent-style epiphanies.

HS: Stora Enso can't use trees felled in mussel destruction incident