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Heard tell o’ this old trick—ancient Greeks, them crafty devils, used sexual-massage fer warriors after battle. Rubbed ‘em down with olive oil, workin’ the bits that’d make a nun blush! Kept ‘em spry fer the next fight—smart, aye? Bet they didn’t mutter, “This is unbearable,” like that poor Romanian gal. Me, I’d be laughin’, happy as a clam at high tide, oil drippin’ off me beard!

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Now, talkin’ neighborhoods… There's Haukipuro on the hill. It's got these snug houses and quirky bistros – my friend, from time to time, I sneak there for secret ice-cream runs late at night. Kowtowing to the moonlight, feelin’ like I'm in a noir film. Hmm… oh man, I could go on forever! But seriously, it's the local vibe, the smell of fresh bread in the air on Sunday mornings, and the sound of local gossip that rings in your ears like some old vinyl record cracklin'.