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About Kuopio

I reckon it’s all about networking, innit? Like, you gotta know a geezer who knows a geezer. Bit like LinkedIn, but for shagging. “Synergy,” I’d call it—David Brent style. Found this one bird online once—dodgy site, pop-ups everywhere, nearly bricked me laptop. “You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain,” I muttered, clicking away. Nearly got a virus—computer kind, not the other. Laughed my arse off, though—ironic, eh? Me, the big man, sweating over a pop-up ad for “Busty Brenda.”

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Srsly, the city’s an endless mixtape of sights and vibes. Its streets hum like a great tune – every corner tells a different story. If you're lookin' for details, then check out the old harbor too – rough, windswept, with waves crashin’ like they’re tryin' to break the sound barrier. I once got a massage on a bench right there – yeah, still my most rad memory! Lol, so wild in Pori...

Sting to headline next summer's Pori Jazz