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Oi, mate, listen up, yeah? Sexual-massage, innit, proper naughty ting! Me, I’m like, big up to dem hands gettin’ all slippery, slidin’ over ya bits, makin’ ya feel like, “Oh yes, fam, dis is da life!” I’m chattin’ ‘bout it cos I seen it, bruv, ain’t no lie. Reminds me of dat film, *Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring*—you know, da one I’m mad for, Kim Ki-duk’s masterpiece, yeah? Dat monk geezer floatin’ on da lake, all calm, but den—bam!—lust creeps in like a sneaky massage oil drip. “Desire brings pain,” he’d say, but bruv, ain’t it worth it sometimes?

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Kurikka’s best kept secret? The abandoned factory on Rautatientori. OMG, seriously eerie at night. I once heard a ghost story, it made me mad and laughing—like, why scare the heck outta me? Yet, every visit brings a shudder, a thrill, a laugh. There’s so much history there, so much grit.

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