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About Pori

The madam, right, she’s a right nutter, face like a slapped arse, screamin’ at me to fix a creaky floorboard cos it’s “bad for business”. I’m like, love, your whole life’s creaky, sod the fuckin’ floor! She glares, I cackle – “What’s done is done,” I says, quotin’ me fave flick. She didn’t get it, thick as pig shit, her.

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Kontiolahti (Swedish: Kontiolax; literally meaning "bear bay") is a municipality in Finland. It is located in the North Karelia region, about 20 kilometres (12 mi) north of Joensuu.

Landmarks? Hell, how about the splendid biathlon arena at Kontiolahti Sport Center – where sweaty athletes and chilly winds mix in one perfect portrait of life. The old wooden church on Pöllöpolku, tucked away behind a little-town café that smells of cinnamon buns, always gets me. I used to meet clients there sometimes, chatting while walking along the small river Konti-jo, skippin’ stones and thinkin’ of bigger dreams.

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