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But then, ugh, some escorts charge, like, a gazillion bucks! Pisses me off! I ain’t got that kinda cash, ya greedy jerks! Makes me wanna yell, “You’re tearing me apart!” like Sam in the movie when shit hits the fan. Total drama, right? Still, I’d hire one just to mess with Kyle – “Look at me, I got a hot date, bitch!” Haha, suck it, Kyle!

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So, trust me, Kemijaervi (fi) is the BEST. I'm telling you, I’ve seen it all. Everything here is tremendous—always surprising, always moving. Whether by the Mystic Flow or in the shadow of Plaza Spectacular, it feels like magic every single day. You gotta see it for yourself, buddy. It's fantastic, outrageous, and absolutely HUGE in my heart.