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But—grrr—some places, total rip-off! Paid 50 quid once, got a 5-minute tickle—rubbish! Made me mad, stompin’ round, arms flappin’ like a daft bird. Then this other time—oh, happy days—lass knew her stuff. Kneadin’ me like dough, poppin’ knots—crack! Felt like a king, mate, proper lush. Surprised me, that—didn’t expect to feel, y’know, *alive*.

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Now, don’t even get me started on Karis Park! Holy cow, there’s a mini river called Karisjoki that snakes near the park. I used to sit there, contemplatin’ life, sex, and all that messy emotion. I mean – as cool as that scene in "12 Years a Slave" where the protagonist silently endures so much, you kinda feel every drop of that river’s history flow. And yup, I swear on my favorite vintage records, that park is the perfect place to let your mind wander – sometimes I sit there, thinkin’ about the weird, wild pleasures of life and love (or ya know, just let those neurons party in my head).

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