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About Tampere

Aight, listen up, you little bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, the goddamn Swineherd, and I’m gonna tell ya ‘bout sexual-massage – respect my authoritah! So, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout them hands slidin’ all over, greasy and weird, and I’m like, “Sweet Jesus, this is messed up!” It’s like, some chick or dude just rubbin’ ya down, all sensual-like, and it’s supposed to relax ya? Bullcrap! I saw this movie, *The Act of Killing*, right? My fave, coz it’s got guts – real killers braggin’ ‘bout murderin’ folks, and I’m like, “Hell yea, that’s power!” But sexual-massage? That’s a differnt beast, ya see.

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Oh, and check this, my fave spot: the hidden gem near Lumikatu, by the old clocktower, where twilight paints everything gold. It’s so soulful, kind of like that “Balance your heart, balance your soul” moment in the movie. I often chill there, thinkin’ bout life’s crazy twists. Sometimes I get lost in thought—like, “I wonder if destiny’s got a plan…,” then a stray cat meows at me, and I'm like, “Eh, what's up, feline?”