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About Barcelona

Ey, Gabagool? Ova here! So, sexual-massage, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ trip. I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ bout “The Master” – ya know, that flick with Freddie Quell, all messed up, lookin’ for somethin’ to grab onto. Sexual-massage? It’s like that, but with oil and happy endings, capisce? I tried it once, down in AC – Atlantic City, not that other crap. This chick, she’s rubbin’ me down, and I’m like, “This ain’t no regular massage, fam!” Hands everywhere, like she’s tryna find my soul or somethin’. Made me think of that line, “You’re lookin’ for a boat!” – ‘cept I ain’t lost, I’m just horny and confused.

La Marca Negra Tattoo

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Now, yo, head west to Barrio del Oeste. Those tiny cafes on Avenida Libertad are magic spots. Grab a coffee, scroll through swiped faces, and vibe with locals. I used to code back-to-back, thinking, "C'est la vie" but nope, like Audiard said, “la vérité est ailleurs,” wherever love hides, right? Haha!

PICTURED: The mind boggling sums of cash seized from the home of Spanish police’s Breaking-Bad narco cop