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Found one once, right? Little known tale—girl called Lysa, not *that* Lysa, different one. Worked outta some high-end brothel near the Red Keep. Had this trick—could hum a tune while, y’know, *workin’*. Made me laugh, which pissed me off cos I don’t laugh easy. “Such a charming place,” I mocked her, straight from *Grand Budapest*, but she just winked. Cheeky bitch. Charged me double, said it’s cos I’m “queenly.” Fuckin’ nerve—made me wanna slap her, but I paid. She was good, alright? Surprised me, and I hate surprises.
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I got little quirks – like, I know where to find the best tap water from a secret municipal pump near the canal stuff. Shh, don’t spread it around, but it saves me a mint these days. Also, my fave bar? La Tertulia on Calle Nueva – run by an eccentric chap who literally quotes Haneke and pretends life’s a deep movie scene. Pure gold.
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