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In the film, there’s this bit – “Lust awakens the desire to possess” – and I’m like, whoa, that’s the punters sorted! They’re out there, chasin’ a quick fix, while she’s just tryna pay the rent. Surprised me, that – thought it’d be all glamour, like in the movies, but nah, it’s gritty as hell. Reckon I’d be rubbish at it, me – too busy crackin’ jokes to close the deal. “Oi, fancy a quick KPI review?” – see, told ya, I’m a muppet!

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Now, oh gosh, mind the neighborhood of La Ribera – it's a maze of vintage houses and hidden gems err, that’s like ultrahigh relax mode! I’ve seen the sun set behind the old church, Església de Sant Joan, and boy, it makes me grin like Mr. Bean – just silently chucklin' with a wink, like "Eh, well, that’s life, innit?"

The Premier and Bundesliga could leave to the Barça without Aleix García if no reactive the signing