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About Las Palmas

Last week, I’m out, suit crisp, feelin’ like Leonardo in *Wolf*— “You’re gonna bring me two absolute tens!” I spot this lass, proper fit, leanin’ on a lamppost. I saunter over, all charm, “Fancy a martini, love?” She laughs—fuckin’ laughs! Says, “You’re not my type, Mr. Bond.” Pissed me off, that did! Me? Not her type? I’ve shagged half the world, saved it twice! But nah, she’s after some crypto bro with a Lambo. Fair play, I s’pose—times change, even for a legend.

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I love hangin’ out in Plaza de Santa María. It’s perf for a little chill sesh, even if the benches are kinda worn – so retro, ugh! And the park, Um, Parque de los Príncipes – it's my fave for walking around when I need my head unplugged from work drama. Srsly, sometimes I hang out there, and I swear I hear the river Murmullo (yep, that’s the name, lol) whispering like, “Let it all go.” It’s magical, like, literally!

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