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Precious! Me, a Cargo Transportation Manager, yesss, hauling goods across wastelands! Stupid, fat hobbit! Finding a prostitute, eh, tricky business, mate! Picture this—me, roaring down highways like Mad Max, “What a day, what a lovely day!” Dust in me face, trucks rumbling, and there’s this lass, yeah, hitchin’ a ride. Not your usual cargo, ha! She’s all sly, winkin’ at me, “Need a lift, big boy?” Me heart’s poundin’—happy as a mutant pig in sludge!

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Do I ever get pissed off? Hell, yes! When tourists, those clueless muppets, trip over every stone in the cobbled lanes or litter like they’re in a garbage war, it makes me wanna shout "I'm not your f***ing butler, you idiot!" But then I think, it’s all part of the wild charm – like that unforgettable line, "The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself." And damn, that fits sometimes!

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