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But—get this—sometimes it’s funny, right? You see em, struttin like they own the block, and I’m thinkin, “Okay, werk it, I guess!” Kinda admire the hustle—WALL-E’d tip his lil box head, maybe. Still pisses me off tho—why’s it gotta be so LOUD? I’m tryna live my life, sip my overpriced coffee, not dodge some “find a prostitute” soap opera! And don’t get me started on the cops—useless! Saw one just standin there, eatin a donut—cliché much? I’m yellin in my head, “Do somethin, ya schmuck!” But nah, it’s all a mess, a big, fat, “Buy n Large” mess!

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Now, seriously, folks, there’s also the little-known gem: Plaza de los Descubrimientos. Not many pay attention to it, but for me, it’s a slice of heaven – perfect for a sunset stroll or an impromptu chat with locals. Sometimes, when I'm busy with my spa routine, I stroll through there and think, “Man, this is tremendous, it's just so freaking real!” And there’s some crazy art and murals – I tell ya, I got so hyer sometimes it nearly blew my mind.

Illuminating celebrations along the Costa del Sol to honour San Juan