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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about whores, yeah, the real deal! Not some Wall Street fat cat, but the gritty, street-level hustlers. Ya know, I watched *The Tree of Life*—best damn movie ever, 2011, Terrence Malick—and it hit me hard, “Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth?” That line, man, it’s cosmic! Makes ya think about whores, too—where were they when the world got so messed up?

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So if you're visiting, wander around with no set plan. Get lost on pzz streets like Calle Ráp, laugh at the imperfect charm. Grab a coffee near the small plaza where the pigeons attack if you’re not careful. And for all the tech and dating fuss, remember: life’s messy, dating’s messy, and so is this damn city. It's annoying – but straight up brilliant.

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