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About Malaga

Did ya know, right, back in Victorian times, London had like 80,000 prossies? True story—grubby streets crawlin’ wid ‘em. Makes me chuckle, ‘cos now it’s all online, innit? Escort sites flashier than a pimp’s gold chain. I’m scrollin’ one night, half pissed, see dis bird sayin’ she’s “discreet.” Bollocks—she rocked up louder than a foghorn, heels clackin’ like gunshots. Neighbours probz thought I was hostin’ a rave. “I am your master!”—I wish, mate, I was hidin’ under me duvet, mortified.

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You gotta check out the narrow lanes around Barrio Viejo. They twist around like spaghetti! And trust me, as a relaxation specialist, you notice every chirping bird and every whisper of the breeze – super zen vibes. Sometimes I wander along the Río de la Plata – ah, the water flows like my thoughts when I’m meditating. That river, like, it gives you life, bro!

African migrants chase riches but find only squalor in Europe