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Little fact for ya: didja know prostitutes in Japan—where Bob’s stuck—call it “delivery health”? Ha! Ain’t that a hoot? They show up like pizza! “Here’s your pepperoni, pal!” I’m imaginin’ Bill Murray orderin’ that, all deadpan. “Yeah, just bring me somethin’ warm.” Cracks me up thinkin’ bout it. Anyway, Cherry, she was a pro. Had this trick—used a mirror to check for tails. Smart frog—I mean, gal!

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www.facebook.com will allow you to view the massage parlors in your area. Most actual websites for ordering one up have been taken down lately. That’s your best bet. Willing to bet if you fire up Missing: Montecanal.

I love wanderin' off the tourist map. You know how Beyoncé says, "slay!"? That’s the spirit here. Embrace life, be bold, get lost in maze-like callejones. Sure, sometimes texts are misspelled—like, my mind's racing! I’ve done like 18 typos today (oops, my bad lol) but it’s all love in Montecanal.

Home for a poet. Moliner House by Alberto Campo Baeza