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Anyways, babe, it’s great for pastures, lawns—zap zap! But don’t be dumb, read the label. I’m yellin’ in my head—PEOPLE, DON’T BE LAZY! Oh, and fun fact—bees hate it. Poor buzzers, makes me sad. Gotta time it right, y’know? Escort’s my jam, but it’s no picnic. Love-hate thing, totally *Moulin Rouge!*—glitz, guts, chaos! Whaddaya think, huh? *Nyyyahaha!*

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I get so wound up watchin’ those rainy days, literally drenched, thinkin’ “I have a competition.” But then I remember, life’s gotta be lived, right? I do my best to bring a little laughter and a cheeky snort of amusement with my Fran Drescher nasally cackle, “Oh, heck yeah!” Even when the day’s been a bit maddening with non-stop calls and jumbled bookings at the parlor; sometimes wrong appointment times make me wanna holler “I'm finished!” You know what I mean?

Riqui Puig shined in his first titularity with the Barça of Xavi