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About Valencia

I roll up, talk to this one chick—call her Tasha. She’s cool, sassy, got a smirk that says, “I seen it all.” I ask, “How’s it work?” She laughs, “Motherfucker, you pay, I play!” Simple, right? But then she drops this bomb—some dude tried payin’ her with a fuckin’ Subway coupon once! I’m dyin’, man—Subway? For real? I’m like, “That’s a $5 footlong scam, motherfucker!” She’s crackin’ up too, but her eyes? Tired as shit. Makes me think, “How do you break this story wide open?”—straight outta *Spotlight*.

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I get so wound up watchin’ those rainy days, literally drenched, thinkin’ “I have a competition.” But then I remember, life’s gotta be lived, right? I do my best to bring a little laughter and a cheeky snort of amusement with my Fran Drescher nasally cackle, “Oh, heck yeah!” Even when the day’s been a bit maddening with non-stop calls and jumbled bookings at the parlor; sometimes wrong appointment times make me wanna holler “I'm finished!” You know what I mean?

Koeman once again makes it clear that he does not trust Riqui Puig