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Ey, Gabagool? Ova here! So, sex-datin’, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ jungle out there, like somethin’ outta “12 Years a Slave”. You got these apps, right? Swipe this, swipe that—bam, ya hooked up! But half the time, it’s a damn scam, like Platt gettin’ sold into hell. I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “Ain’t this some shit?” People out here lyin’ bout their pics, their jobs—fakakta nonsense! Makes me wanna whack somebody, I swear.

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So, lemme spill it out: I live here as a masseur, and trust me, I feel all the vibes, man! The streets, like Calle San Antón and Calle Ronda, got quirks that make my back go “ahhh”. Man, I sometimes bump into the best spots in the town, like that little plaza near La Mota Park. So many good massages and even better chill moments there, hmm.

Copa del Rey round two draw in full as Osasuna draw Deportivo de La Coruna