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About Las Palmas

Findin’ one? Psh, ya gotta know the signs. Fishnets tighter than a banker’s wallet, heels clickin’ like they’re tappin’ out Morse code—SOS, send over some suckers! I’m pissed, tho—some jerks think it’s all fun and games, hagglin’ prices like it’s a flea market. Nah, dude, respect the hustle! Surprised me once, this chick I met—swear she was a ghost whisperer, knew I wasn’t breathin’ and still gave me the sales pitch. Ballsy! Loved that. “You’re not like the others,” she says—damn right, I’m freakin’ Beetlejuice!

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And oh, the parks! The Parque de los Pinos is my chill zone. I sit, mmm, and feel the breeze on my back. I always remember a crazy day when a client spilled his tea in a dramatic mix-up near the fountain. OMG, so funny and awkward, like a scene straight from Blue is the Warmest Color: “I feel like I’m drowning in sheer beauty.” Something like that, remember?

Real ID Arizona deadline of May 7 rapidly approaching