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About Malaga

So, picture this – I’m in Newark, right? Shithole central. Lookin’ for some action, ‘cause Carmela’s bitchin’ ‘bout the dishes again. Fuckin’ aggravation! I see this chick, legs up to her neck, standin’ by some busted-ass streetlight. “Hey, sweetheart, how’s it hangin’?” I yell, leanin’ outta the Caddy. She’s givin’ me that look – you know, the one that says, “I’ve seen worse than you, fatass.” Makes me laugh, fuckin’ balls on her!

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Find a lesbian bar and look around for an attractive woman or couple of women to go talk to. I bet they would be happy to give your first.

Oh, and the food? Exellent tapas at La Taberna del Loco – seriously, you gotta try that. Even if the strrets stink a bit sometimes (hey, cities got moods, right? rarrgh!) it's all part of the charm.

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