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About Valencia

Here’s a kicker—did ya know in Japan they got this “nurumassage”? Slimey as hell, they slide all over you! I’m like, “Whoa, slow down, I ain’t no sushi roll!” Surprised the shit outta me, but damn, it’s slick—literally. Say hello to my little friend, right? He’s lovin’ it! I’m thinkin’, “This is how you scalp Nazis, with style!” Total Tarantino vibe, over-the-top, messy, fuckin’ glorious.

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Itall comes from the local vibes. I frequent Parque de los Sueos, a wee park by the river Jarais, where we all sit and say “Savvy?” while watchin’ clouds. But good lord, sometimes I get mad – like when the noisy scooters zoom past the old bridge, the Puente de los Susurros, disturbin’ the peace! I nearly lost me marbles then, not to mention me patience, “what we have here is failure.”