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About Valencia

Exaggeratin? Maybe, but one time—swear—saw a gal dodge a raid like a ninja. “Fear kills the soul,” right outta *Timbuktu*. She was gone, poof, left the john screamin. Laughed my ass off—dumbass deserved it. Personal quirk? I’d sip vodka, watchin this circus unfold. Funny as hell, but risky—disease, cops, psychos. Ya gotta weigh it—worth it or nah? Me, I’d rather strategize than dive in blind. Cold, calculated—Putin style, baby.

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So, check it, Icod’s got these mad narrow streets like Calle de la Nieve and Calle de la Fuente – proper character, y’know? There’s dis epic old church, Ermita de San Juan, right in the heart of town. I always pop by there on me breaks. Crazy spot for chillin’ and clearin’ me head after a busy day at the spa, innit? “They’re not monsters!” – no, but like, the history hug ya like a proper embrace. Is it ’cos I is black? Nah, bruv, it’s just history smashin’ through, mate!

The times and routes of all the Three Kings' Parades in Tenerife