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About Malaga

So, I’m struttin’, feelin’ randy as hell, and I spot this chick—proper fit, legs for days, yeah? She’s givin’ me the eye, like, “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!”—y’know, that poetic jazz from the film. I’m like, “Groovy, baby, let’s shag!” But—plot twist—she’s dodgy, man! Charges me double, says it’s “inflation, love.” Inflation my arse! Made me mad as a hatter—nearly lost my mojo there.

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Man, the streets be rumbling with history. There’s a park, El Vergel, with a huge, ancient fig tree. I sat there one day, massaging my scalp after a hectic shift, feelin’ grateful and all. And oh boy, the vibe, it reminded me of that line, "We fears the darkness," from Timbuktu! Crazy, right? I even got my favorite coffee spot on Avenida del Alba, run by this zany old lady who's an all-knowing seer—ya just gotta drink the brew and let your worries drift, as if the stars are whispering "We hates the night."

Ferran Torres, about to complete 100 LaLiga games with FC Barcelona