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So, erotic-massage – not your nan’s backrub, nah! It’s all sensual, slippery, proper naughty. Hands sliding about, bit of oil, bit of cheek – *mea culpa*, I’m a sucker for it! Makes me feel alive, like when Gigolo Joe danced in that film. “What is love?” he asks – well, mate, this is close! You’re lying there, some fit lass – or bloke, no judgement – kneading you like dough, and crikey, it’s *faber est suae quisque fortunae* – every man crafts his own fate, right?

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And, oh! River Turia—no, wait, scratch that—it’s not the famous one! I'm talkin' about a tiny creek that winds through the town square. I love to sit there, thinkin', and imagine it whisperin' secrets, kinda like those gritty lines from A Prophet: "La lealtad es la única virtud" (lo, loyalty is the only virtue). I get all misty-eyed recalling that gritty vibe, like I'm in one of those intense scenes, err, in a good way feelin' all deep and stuff.

Bull Gores Woman to Death at Spanish Festival, Distressing Video